Ep 47: Dare to Live Your Dreams (1 Year Anniversary Episode!)

Celebrating the one year anniversary of the Dare to Dream Physician Podcast!

What a difference a year makes when we dare to imagine and live our dreams.

This podcast was created to inspire physicians to:
❤️ Live richly in the present while being aware of the impermanence of life.
❤️ Cultivate curiosity to see the world thru the lens of a 5 year old child.
❤️ Take at least one step every day toward your dreams
❤️ Fight for your dreams with relentless optimism.

Here's to another year... I put out a solo episode to kick start the new season. But don't worry, we'll have more interviews coming. I'm so excited to keep learning from my amazing guests. I've always believed in the power of conversation and the potential for one conversation to change our lives. I talk about how this podcast has done just that.

Take a listen to the one-year anniversary celebration episode "Dare to Live Your Dreams"!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️If you love the Dare to Dream Physician Podcast, send us feedback via DM or Rate and Review us on Apple Podcasts! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Transcript

Dr. Gray 0:00

Welcome back everybody. Today I'm celebrating the one year anniversary of the dare to dream physician podcast. I am so grateful for this past year and I will be completely open that. There are ups and downs to podcasting. On one hand, it is a lot of work, a lot of time commitment. And on the other hand, it is absolutely inspirational and an honor to be able to. Talk to people who I admire and who I want to learn from. So I'm going to do things a little different today. I'm going to do a solo podcast and just give you some reflections of this past year. And I want to start with reflecting back on why I'm doing this podcast in the first. So about a year and a half ago was when I first got life planning. And I've shared this in the earlier episodes that I was attending a workshop, a virtual workshop at the time, because it was smack in the middle of the pandemic. And I was given the chance to be on the receiving end of life planning. This was something I'd never done before is to share my high-level dreams. I started voicing how I feel strongly about making a difference in the world, leaving a legacy and having that freedom to live life and also to work as a physician in alignment with my integrity and values. I think these dreams are often so universal and it felt right to me too, to be voicing those dreams. And then I got to the last part and this felt like it was a small statement, but I verbalize one more wish. I want to enjoy the moments when I'm with my kids I shared that I have this noise. That's constantly going in my head. There's always 10 different to-do lists that pop up. And there was this veil of numbness in my. Existence that when, for example, when I would come home from a long day of work, I felt so exhausted and I couldn't even muster the energy to smile or feel any emotions when my kids would run up to me. And those of you who know me in real life know that I smile a lot. That's part of who I am. And so I knew something was wrong. I couldn't even enjoy the people who are the closest to me in life. And, and so I went on saying, I just want to enjoy the moment. And what I realized afterwards was that I had already attained some of the dreams for my past, but I didn't feel like I was living my dreams. I continue to live in that survival mode and I continued to keep answering to the tyranny of the urgent. Wait, all the things that come up that are urgent, that feel urgent, that you have to take care of right away. You know, you got to go sit down and pay that bill. You have to go and finish that note and submit the charges for the patient encounters. There as, as a dentist appointment, that's due that pops up, then you have to go schedule it and go. And yet in addressing, in addressing the tyranny of the urgent, I couldn't. I couldn't really address the more important things in my life. The things that weren't urgent, because I felt like I had an indefinite amount of time to live on this earth. And I felt like it's going to be forever when my kids are going to be young, and this really went on for over a decade before I sat in that chair, receiving life planning and realized that even though I had actually attained the dream that I had from the. And yet, I didn't feel like I was living the dream because I couldn't even be in the moment in the midst of the dream that I'm living. And the interesting thing was I kept waiting for it to get better. As an intern, I thought it would automatically get. When I completed my internship. And then as a resident, I thought it would automatically get better when I finished residency. And same thing happened in fellowship and same thing after I changed specialties and same thing after I went to working a part-time status as an attending physician. And yet it never automatically came. And so I sat in that chair on the receiving end of life planning and the master life planner delivered this dream back to me, he painted a moment in the future on an exact date, six months away in a place right at my home where I had achieved my dreams. And it was this vision of being able to be in the moment, enjoying my time with my kids. That that brought me to tears. And that, that was how I knew that that dream was what really resonated with me that if I were to die in 24 hours, which as I've talked about before is one of the reflective exercises that we do in life planning that if I were to die in 24 hours and I reflect on what did I not get to do? Who did I not get to be? What did I miss? That would have been my regrets to not live the dreams that were already right in front of me. And, to live with the tyranny of the urgent things and forgetting, to take hold of the meaningful things for getting to put that in the front and center and forget. To enjoy the most meaningful things. And so that vision of being fully present, finding the light in my kids, giggles feeling at ease when I'm spending time with my family, feeling joy. As I spend an afternoon with my family, seeing the magic and the life that I get to live. I wanted that so badly when that vision was presented to me and I didn't believe I could get it, but through what the life planner was delivering to me, through the power of visioning. It lit a fire in me to go after that. And I didn't know how, but I just knew that I wanted that. And today on the one-year anniversary of the daydream physician podcast, I can really truly say that I am now living that dream. I don't actually know the exact date when I achieved it. And I'm certainly not here to say that I'm perfect at it. Um, in fact, I continue to work on it and I continue to want to get better at living my dreams, but I want it to reflect on how on, how did I proceed to start living my dream life? That is what I wanted to talk about in today's podcast. How did I proceed to live my dream life in the short amount of time? Number one, I started with curiosity and I worked on growing my ability to be curious on a daily basis, things that may have looked on achievable or impossible, I started asking, well, how did other people do. And this is directly related to this year a podcasting. When I felt called to start the dare to dream physician podcast a year ago. I wasn't planning on making it an interview show. Well, what I did do is I kept my eyes open and I kept my ears out for what people were putting out there in the metaverse. Whenever I find myself being drawn to an idea, a story, a presence, when I felt a spark lit up in response to another person, I would then invite them to be a guest on my show. And this is where I discovered magic that I didn't even know existed. and I had always loved conversations and had always believed in the powerful exchange between human beings and how. our lives can be changed and inspired by just one conversation. So I had always believed in that magic, but I never went out and did it as systematically as I did when I started when then when I started podcasting. And so I just experienced firsthand how I can learn so much how I can get so much out of having a conversation with a human being that I admire. And through each interview, I get to sit down with them for about an hour and ask them all the questions that I have trying to understand how they look at the world, how they see themselves and others, how they perceive the world functioning, what's, the story that they have in their head about how things are. How they use the thing and how they think now, who they used to be and who they are now. And, and all of those things. I gained so much by really being curious down to the essence of each human being that I get to talk to. And, and from growing my curiosity and practicing my curiosity, I experienced firsthand the side benefit of gaining this amazing fund of knowledge and vicariously building wisdom through hearing about the experiences of these amazing human beings. And so I invite you to start looking at the world with curiosity, to think of yourself as a five-year-old and look at the world through the lens of a five-year-old and trying to understand five-year-olds asked the best questions. And so to start cultivating that curiosity that we may have forgotten and let go of from, from when we were children, and The number two strategy that I think was instrumental in being able to live my dream life. Is that I was quick to try new things. I was quick to act. Some people may actually look at how quick I was to take action and would label that as being impulsive. And, and at times I also had that doubt that maybe I am acting too quickly, maybe I'm just being impulsive, but now that we've had the lens of time, The lens of a year past, I have to say that I have no regrets about it, that I am grateful that I was quick to try new things quick to take action, and I'm going to keep doing that. And in fact, I may even do it faster. So after I would have each podcast interview, I would listen to the conversation. With each guest many times. I am downloading the wisdom for my guests and I study the tools that they use to live a meaningful and fulfilling life for them. And then I would try out what I learned from that. So a great example of this is my interviewed with Dr. Michelle quirk that's episode 12. You should go back and listen to that if you haven't already, or if it's been a while, since you've listened to it. And where we talk about her life transformation through. She shared her story of how she started running when she was facing a lot of stressors in her life. And what was so captivating to me was that she shared that she used to come in last for the mile in school and that she actually started running in her thirties. And in a few years time, she became a marathon. And not only did she become a marathon runner, she actually got her mother and her mother-in-law to start running and there were sixties. And so her story, it was an absolute inspiration to me when I heard it. And I started getting really curious about whether I could go from the kid who was always the last to be picked on a team. P E and school and the kid who struggled to run the mile in middle school, which is the last time they made us run the mile to actually becoming a runner, to actually becoming an athlete. Is that even possible that at 40 years old, that I could add an identity. So I started just being curious about running. Um, though I didn't have the end goal in mind of becoming a runner. I was just more curious whether I could become one and, and that curiosity led me to go to a running store and get fitted for a pair of running shoes. Then I started running just out my front door. We have some trails on the fields, and I would start running on some of those trails. I started to really enjoy it. And I noticed that I felt less stressed and. I felt really good being able to move my body, being able to be outside and the other benefit that I didn't even realize was that I actually started enjoying the dream property that my husband and I bought. We live in the house that we live because we love the outdoors and there's these beautiful fields right outside our door. And we have forests and we have this amazing nature playground right outside our house. And for the, the four years that we've owned this property. I didn't really, I didn't enjoy it. I didn't take the time to be outside to, even though it was right out there. that's another example of how having, having the external elements that actually fulfill our dream, but we don't change the internal elements. We don't change our mindset. We don't change our habits. We don't change the things that are within complete control of ourselves. We don't change that internal mail you, that we can't start living our dreams until that's also changed. And so this, so, so when I started writing, I realized, wow, the every, every time I would go out there. Yeah, it was uncomfortable. Yeah. There were many times when I didn't want to do it, that I was looking for an excuse, like, oh, but there are too many bugs out there, or it looks like it's going to rain. Or what if I run into a bear, which I have run into while running. And, and so I would make up all these excuses in my head before going out. And, but I went out there anyway. And as I am out there, as I am taking action, I realized that this, this is amazing. I feel amazing. I feel like I am more in the moment as a person. And so curiosity got me interested in running and then the openness to take action to start to try it out, to try new things, got me to realize that I actually love running. What I think is the most amazing thing that I had, I would've had no idea unless I started taking action on it was that running was actually the tool that was going to help me achieve my life plan. The life plan that I had six months earlier, I sat with the life planner and he presented me this vision of being able to be in the moment, being able to enjoy my kids as they laugh, as they giggled and just feeling light, as opposed to be being burdened down by. The million checklists and the noise. That was my head and feeling like I was in prison by the tyranny of the urgent things that are happening. And so what I realized was that running became the vehicle, to help me achieve my dream life. As a result of showing up and acting, I've had so many amazing moments directly from running, I realized that I was more calm. I was less in my head with all those stressful thoughts and I was able to be more present. I was able to. Hold more space for being with my family, I was able to process my emotions better. And running was not the only thing that I did in the last year and a half since I initially got life planning, running was just one of the many things. So I hope you also consider what are the things in your life that you're maybe curious about that you could take quick action on. And taking quick action doesn't mean that you're going to do this forever. I could have tried running and I might've hated it and then I would have stopped. Whatever it is that you are curious about, to not just sit and be curious about it, but to also act on it, whatever it is that you can do right in front of you. For me, the next step was to just go to a running store and get fitted for a pair of running shoes. And then that made the next step easier. Don't underestimate the value of just taking that one step today. so strategy number three, that helped me start living my dreams sooner than I ever imagined is that I choose to be relentlessly optimistic As I reflect today, I am now living my dreams, but I am not stopping there. I'm actually more relentless than ever in wanting to get better and living my dreams. And so now that I'm able to find joy in these everyday moments with my husband and my kids, and that, that is so important to me and that I get to do that. But I didn't have that a year and a half ago. And, and back then I chose to believe that it is possible for me and it was a choice because they were negative thoughts in my head. They're not only negative thoughts internally, but also negative thoughts externally, because as a culture, and we've talked about this in previous podcasts, the, the, the norm is. Physicians, especially women physicians to feel overwhelmed with their life. And so there was all this in the background of my own head of other people's heads. But I chose to believe that something else was possible. So because of that relentless optimism, it pushes me to take steps every day to become the human being who can do this. And I'm going to take steps to be able to do it even better. and in this case, I want to experience the joy even more intensely than I have been. And even this week I've been working on this. I sought out another tool that would help me in doing this. And so when I recount my story over the last year and a half, I often joke that what brought me to life planning at age 40 was a midlife crisis that was instigated by the pandemic uncertainty. And just like most jokes. There's a lot of truth to this. I felt so much pain. I felt an identity crisis at the time and while, and it's interesting because now I look back, you know, my employer was just busy trying to survive COVID and, and yeah, I was dwelling on not getting validation in my value as a physician and that. At first, that mismatch was really hurtful. And that led me to feelings of despair and unworthiness. But yet in the midst of that pain, I chose to look at it through the lens of curiosity and relentless optimism. Why is it that I believe what I have to offer is valuable to patients and to society, but my employer is more focused on spreadsheets and metrics. And that question, that questioning was when I discovered for myself that the sources from which I was seeking validation was actually all wrong. And so when I realized that it led me to go from a place of pain and helpless, To the decision to be the CEO of my own life, whether I'm an employed physician or have my own business, that no matter what it's going to be, non-negotiable I am going to be the CEO of my own life. And I no longer need to seek validation from my employer. And to recognize that really what their responsibility is, is just upholding the contract that I signed with them. I also just want to make a distinction relentless optimism, please don't mistake it. What people are calling toxic positivity, right? I'm not saying to say that everything is going fine and this is all good. And I am grateful for my life when deep inside that that's not true. Right? When deep inside you're feeling despair and feeling hurt and feeling pain. No. What I'm saying? to be real, to be honest with ourselves, but yet recognize that there is a choice. There is a choice to look at things through the lens of things can get better. It does not have to be in this dark place, whatever is the experience right now that I will not accept that we are stuck in this dark place, that I am going to do what I can. I'm going to take responsibility and to see. Is there a better way? Can we get better? End being responsible for the vision that you have for yourself. Why are we here on earth? What are we put here to do? And so I invite you to ask those questions. What is it that is so deeply important to me? What do I want to do? How do I want to learn? And then fight for those fight for those things with relentless optimism, because you are worth it and because your dreams are worth it. And so in concluding the one-year anniversary episode of the dare to dream physician podcast, I want to tell you my listeners, that I am so grateful for this year of podcasting and that I am so grateful that you are here to be part of that journey. You are here because you are curious about discovering your dream life and strategizing how you can make that come true sooner than you ever imagined. And I am just so grateful for the opportunity to do life planning for my clients. As part of my commitment to be the best life planner for you, I want to practice what I preach. So I'm relentless in pursuing my own life plan. And as George kinder that father of life planning says life planning is the most efficient method to deliver freedom to an individual. and so my dear to dream physician listeners, I want to deliver freedom to you, I am delivering a moment as a result of our working together. It's May, 2023. you. are Sitting outside your home, enjoying the sunshine and the gentle breeze. And You look around and you're surrounded by people who you love and you just reflect back then the last year, and you're in awe of how far you've come along. You are in awe of how the dreams that you had the courage to speak out a year ago actually came to life and that you're enjoying that life where, you know, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30 years from now, if you were to be on your death bed, you are going to look back on this year that just passed and tell yourself well done, that was a year well lived and this past year was what made life worth living for. And this is the moment I want you to take a deep breath and just enjoy that moment. Enjoy that moment of satisfaction and fulfillment. Wow. What a difference a year can make. So dare to dream physicians. I invite you to continue pursuing your dreams with relentless optimism. Thank you again for listening. I'm so grateful for our listeners. Keep daring to dream and keep daring to live your dream life because your life is worth it. And as always, I would be honored to take part in helping you create your life plan. If you're curious and want to take action, sign up for discovery. Call with me@daretodreamphysician.com. See you next week.